Why I Embrace My Crackberry

Until a month ago, I had never subscribed to all the Blackberry hype that had began spreading across the technophiliac nation. In fact, the first place even I heard the term "blackberry" used was in a gangsta rap song I heard on the radio. Realizing this wasn't a reference to fruit, I vaguely investigated the matter to discover it was some ubber expensive new brand of PDAs that I would "never" take any interest in. On July 19th, 2008, this all changed.

Being extremely picky when it comes to my geeky gadgets, I wasn't able to find a phone that suited me. Shocking, I know. I brought home some dreadful flip phone that required bionic fingers to text single-handed. With me and most of my generation having a slight case of ADD, if I'm texting, I'm probably flipping channels or cooking dinner with the other hand.  I need both hands free, you see?  With that in mind, I decided to commandeer my friend's blackberry because I was determined to return my phone. This friend kept going on and on about it being the greatest thing since season one of "The Office".   Anyone with common sense knows that's kind of a big deal. To my amazement, I was slightly intrigued with this squaty, awkward looking device. I could watch youtube, check my email, and make my obsession with facebook continue throughout all 24 hours of the day. The next day, I returned my phone with the 16 inch qwerty keypad for my fantastic new Blackberry. So, to explain my new obsession, I have complied a list. Why? Because I really like lists.

What Puts the Crack in Crackberry?

1. I never feel alone. No matter if I am sitting in a doctor's office, on the open road, or fishing in Alaska, I will always get my emails, know who wrote on my wall, or hear that magical, whimsical instant message "ding".
   
2. I hear & see phantom notifications.  If even the slightest reflection hits my blackberry, I immediately assume it's the happy little red light alerting me that I have a new message.  It doesn't matter if this is junk mail, or an invitation to join some lame group on facebook, I am always excited and eager to see the message that awaits on my beloved toy of imprisonment.  Since my precious freak of technology is at my side at all times, this happens often.  Additionally, if Mr. Blackberry and I are driving down the road listening to music, I always think he's talking sweet nothings to me.  If there is a sound in a song that even remotely takes resemblance of the blackberry sound, I'm there, once again checking to see if I have a message waiting on me.  Most of the time this is a false alarm, but I always check to make sure.
   
3. I break into a cold sweat if I can't find my blackberry.  On the ever so rare occasion that my blackberry is missing for more than a nano second, I freak out.  It feels like someone cut off my arms and threw me on a desert island.  I do not like this feeling--at all.

This thing really is as addictive as crack cocaine.  But then again, I wouldn't really know, I'm too busy updating my facebook status on my blackberry.